Its hard to describe the mix of emotions you feel when in the presence of a Sociopath but at first i didnt even know and this caught me off guard.
at the point of meeting ‘John Doe’ i had been suffering with depression for around 3 years and my self esteem and happiness felt a distant memory and then he arrived and changed my entire world, he told me i was beautiful and listened to everything i had to say, he made me feel comfortable in my own skin again. i couldn’t control myself i was falling for him quickly it was almost like he was dissolving my depression and turning into hope again, he made me feel alive.
This knight in shining armour lasted around 6 months until he told me he was a narcissistic sociopath. this confused me…Alot, i didnt even understand the words coming out of his mouth so i delved onto the internet trying to understand and of course you come across all the ‘sociopaths can’t love and they manipulate you’ sort of sites but they didnt help they only hurt me more, reading the words others wrote pushed me back down to the place John Doe had saved me from.
i decided to stick it out i couldnt let this ruin my ever growing love for this man, he was my world and he spent so much time working on helping me get better i couldn’t throw that away for some words i read on the internet.
now ill jump forward to the present day, i’ve been with him now for nearly 2 years and yes it’s been a rollercoaster of a ride and i hope to talk more about it in future posts but we love eachother more then anything in the world and i’ve seen a side to sociopathy that i haven’t seen anywhere online and so i want to tell my story i want people to know that its not always like what you read and that everyone is different.
This blog is going to be a mixture of happiness and sadness but its all going to be truthful and maybe it will help someone who’s either dating a sociopath, suffering with depression or like me has the joys of both in their life.